Monday, September 19, 2005
The wimp – A dream about Bush
I want to share a "big dream" with you, one that I had almost a year ago. It was as close as I can get to a "prophetic" dream or a trans-temporal vision, penetrating the essence of realities in Israel. Many good souls are now struggling with the attempt to pin down the elusive connections between the US government and Israel (Zionists what not), and find it almost impossible to hold the truth. The truth seems so "thin" that if you go overboard one way or the other, you fall into a grave error. A lot of energy clouds the issues of conspiracy and politics, money and crimes, that make it impossible to see clear, and choose right from wrong.
I have noticed that my words, when I write anywhere (especially in foreign boards) are going through a bend, or some obscuration (is there such a word ?), related to my being Israeli. I am not heard, but sniffed. Therefore, I find this dream to be an "Artistic" expression, direct from my knowing to any reader. Dreams, speak louder than any word. Listen, and watch in your minds eye, the little "video docu-drama", courtesy of my creative soul.
The scene takes place in the center of an ancient city. The multitudes are going down towards a large stadium, one of those roman looking structures you find in Italy and in movies about antiquity. I am among the crowds, and I am very scared. The new edict from the emperor commands all the citizens of this "Rome" to report daily at 5 PM, in the city's stadium, which serves as a university, the pride of the new empire. The daily session, according to the edict, will be considered an academic hour, namely, it will end 15 minutes before 6 PM, as the rules of academic teaching lay down.
This "class" so to speak, is simply the Emperor's desire to have sex with whomever he chooses, he wants to see everyone there, and make his choice. The crowd is going to be seated, and the emperor will roam around, and his guards will point him to new arrivals. Finally, the goal is for the Emperor to have had forced sex with all the residents of the capital.
My heart was beating as fast and loud as it could. I didn't think I can handle the situation, but then, there was no way to avoid it. I just knew in my heart that if I have to endure this rape, I will die. I was, as I am now, a single mother with my little boy. The edict explicitly said that we are not exempt, and ordered to either leave the kids with care, and those who can't shall bring them along and keep them very quiet. We were pushed along the human herd, entering the big stadium through the gates. The ominous and cruel guards were all over, pushing and hitting, making sure everything is under control. They had those metal armor, which made them appear inhuman. We were seated in the highest and side tribune, close to the wall. It was a "good" spot, almost hidden from anyone, except the guards who told me, there is no point hiding, my turn will come today, as a "new arrival". They kept hushing my child. I was looking down, to find the emperor, I never saw him before and I was curious. Then he came in, and what a surprise.
A flabby giggling nerd, almost ridiculous, with exaggerated "queer" gestures, mimicking a woman. He seemed very cordial, almost sentimental and soft hearted. It was all just a game for him, and possibly a tradition. He was not intimidating or cruel.
He then starting moving around the crowds in the first floor, most of the people where hoarded there. When he spotted someone he coveted, the man or the woman, had to lie with their face down, while he sodomized them, trying to be very kind and loving, or in a way considerate. It was a horrible sight. The guards near me said, "well, soon he'll come here, get ready and silence the child", and my heart was going to explode with fear. But then, someone cried from below, "class is over", and yes, the big clock showed 5:45. It was a full academic hour. I almost died with relief, and my guard was a bit disappointed. "oh, yes, its not a full hour, it is considered university." he said, remembering the edict.
The crowd started streaming out, everyone was silent, dumbfounded with fear and disgust. I found myself in the center of the city, when everyone left and took to their home. "I have to run away from here", I told myself. And started walking, as fast as I could with my son sitting on my neck holding my head tight, towards the exit, the outskirts of the town. I reached what seemed to be a transport station, and it seemed as if there is a "sky train" or some sort of underground train around there. I went to the information booth, and gradually, reality "modernized" and I wasn't sure what is going on. Confused, I asked the information bell boy :"is it now or then, now ?" namely, am I in ancient Rome or is this happening now ?
He laughed and said, "its then but its now, you probably don't have any modern currency." It was as if he has seen other in my situation and could offer some practical advice. I went through my pockets, and sure enough, there were only ancient coins. "how can I take the train the hell outa here ?" I asked him pleading…And he said, that if I don't have money, I cannot board the train.
It was all so sad, because I was tired, but I took to the road, leading to the country area away from this ancient capital. On the road, someone with a car stopped and gave us a ride. She was going to the country, and by now it was already full present time, no Romans or Emperors around.
After a few hours of riding in beautiful nature and seeing some houses along the way, we reached what seemed like a nice town, The driver dropped me there, in a commercial center, one of those small malls, a complex of some offices and shops. I went inside, and entered a clinic. Possibly a family doctor, there was nobody in the front desk and so I stepped in, and sat near a large reception table, stretching my feet. I was safely out of danger now, and the people of this area, possibly in Canada or northern California appeared hospitable and generous enough to accommodate a refugee.
while sitting there and resting, suddenly the phone rang, and somehow I knew it was for me, although I wondered how anyone knew where I was. I picked up the phone, and listened. It was a man. "hi, I am Jewish too. I know where you came from, and I know what you are running away from. It is horrible, isn't it ?". I was so happy. It was another Jew, and he knew that what happened in that old city is against our values and precepts. At least there are more people who know this is wrong. "yes, I was there, and I managed to escape, I don't know how. Where are you ? Who are you ? How did you know where I was ?" I asked. He answered, but his voice was beginning to fade as he spoke, and in the background I could hear his friend, perhaps two other young men. "We are the Jewish underground, we want to help you, because you should not be dealing with that by yourself, you are a woman with a child." this was so good to hear, my heart felt alive again, and hope for help returned. "but we were placed in a psychiatric hospital, we are considered mentally ill…" He said, and he was starting to fade out…." What do you mean psychiatric hospital, run away, get out of there, you don't have to stay there…" I noticed that he just doesn't want to fight…That perhaps it was convenient this way.
The line went off…
I was alone again. But I was going to go home soon to Israel, or at least call my friends. For three days, the nice people of this town hosted me generously, allowed me to recover and gain my strength back. I then received another call from Israel. It was a lady I knew from my hometown, years ago. She grew up in the USA, while her father was forced to work for the Israeli intelligence on the Pollard recruitment. He gradually cracked and went berserk. She became a victim of a particularly cruel mind control program, in order – among other reasons – to prevent her from taking effective steps to investigate the matter of her father's abuse and death. The Pollard affair, rema
ined after all, a dark secret of two criminal governments. Her abusers were psychiatrists and researchers at a hospital associated with one of the military's most secret facilities designed for non conventional weapons. She was a mess, but her sense of humor saved her from total disintegration. There was still hope for her as well, but the odds were against her.
I was nevertheless happy to talk to her, as always she was witty and funny. "I just left this horrible place, an ancient city where the Emperor has a right to sodomize and sexually abuse in public each and every person. I ran away…" I told her without much explanation. "Oh, I know this place, I have been there too. But in my case he had his way. Seven times, in the ass…Can you imagine this flabby creature penetrating you and coming seven times one after the other ?" she said cynically. I was amazed how detached she is, for it was horrible just to hear about it. "isn't he funny?" she said laughing. "everyone would think he is such an impressive and strong person, like his guards, and then you see this little wimp. Oh it was disgusting…" She reminisced, and I felt so sorry for her. At the same time I felt lucky not to have had this experience, for I would certainly die after that.